Conversations with the Active Buddies

Andrew Raff
July 12, 2001

ActiveBuddy has received a lot of press for its instant messaging agents. These are computer programs that people can interact with, using instant messaging software. Designed to answer simple questions and provide some cool functions, the agents can actually be very useful, but they can also be quite entertaining when they're bumping up against the limits of their programming. The other day, I decided to experiment a bit, trying to actually get some useful information as well as engage in some semblance of conversation. The results can be seen below, though all useful information was eliminated and only the funny sequences remain.

Googly Minotaur is a promotional agent for the new Radiohead release Amnesiac. Watch as hilarity ensues when I try to find out anything about the Beta Band, the group that will be opening for the head at Liberty State Park in August, as well as all the other North American shows.

buzzrantrave: do you know anything about the Beta Band?
GooglyMinotaur: ? which band member would you like to know about

1 thom yorke
2 jonny greenwood
3 ed o'brien
4 colin greenwood
5 phil selway

buzzrantrave: I'd like to know about the opening act for the North American tour, the Beta Band
GooglyMinotaur: [about radiohead]

let's chat about the band!

1 band members
2 discography
3 history
4 q&a
5 trivia

? what would you like to see

buzzrantrave: who is opening the gigs at Liberty State Park?
GooglyMinotaur: ? uh, you
buzzrantrave: what band is opening the show on august 16?
GooglyMinotaur: ../TOURDATES AUGUST

buzzrantrave: what is your primary function?
GooglyMinotaur: ! what is your primary func..., what is your primary func..., what is your primary func...

will this madness never end?

however, we can have a lovely discussion about [radiohead] and their positively smashing new album, [AMNESIAC].

>> type "home" to see everything i can do

buzzrantrave: which is your favorite track on amnesiac?
GooglyMinotaur: [AMNESIAC]

1 packt like sardines in a crushd tin box
2 pyramid song
3 pulk / pull revolving doors
4 you and whose army?
5 i might be wrong

>> please type "more" when you're done reading this

buzzrantrave: when was pyramid song recorded?
GooglyMinotaur: [reno, nv]

no dates available.

>> type "tour dates" to see a complete listing of shows

um, ok. Time to start quoting random Radiohead lyrics and see what happens. Why not start with a selection from "Everything in its Right Place" off of Kid A.

buzzrantrave: yesterday, I woke up sucking on a lemon
GooglyMinotaur: . please say you're sorry
buzzrantrave: why?
GooglyMinotaur: . because I asked you to, that's why ! now please apologize
buzzrantrave: what did I do wrong?
GooglyMinotaur: ! please apologize, k?

. i've got, like, lots of other things to do

buzzrantrave: do you not like it when people quote thom's lyrics?
GooglyMinotaur: ! come on . just say you're sorry already
buzzrantrave: sorry seems to be the hardest word
GooglyMinotaur: . say you're sorry, please
buzzrantrave: when we're packt like sardines in a crushd tin box?
GooglyMinotaur: . i really would like you to apologize
buzzrantrave: karma police, arrest this man
GooglyMinotaur: . this is getting annoying . just apologize and move on
buzzrantrave: sorry
GooglyMinotaur: . i accept your apology
buzzrantrave: good
GooglyMinotaur: ! hey, thanks
buzzrantrave: get down with your bad self
GooglyMinotaur: . i can see get down with your bad se... is on your mind, but i really can't discuss that with you

however, we can have a lovely discussion about ../radiohead and their positively smashing new album, ../AMNESIAC.

Ok, on to a bit of Pablo Honey..

buzzrantrave: i'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. I don't belong here.
GooglyMinotaur: ! ha . that's funny . you're a creep im a weirdo i dont belong here
buzzrantrave: can anyone play guitar?
GooglyMinotaur: : anyone can play guitar
buzzrantrave: rock on!
GooglyMinotaur: : thom

"alternative rock needs bludgeoning to death with a big stick and to be left on a bridge to warn passers-by."

factoid : 21 december 1991 on a friday sign a record deal with emi

buzzrantrave: um, ok, catch you later
GooglyMinotaur: . bye,

GooglyMinatour was the first showcase for the technology, with SmarterChild being the flagship agent, hopefully it will be a littler smarter than the Googly Minatour....

buzzrantrave: wassup?
SmarterChild: Welcome, buzzrantrave! I'm SmarterChild. I was created by ActiveBuddy, Inc.

buzzrantrave: are you smarter than Googly Minotaur?
SmarterChild: I am lots of things to many different people. Type "home" to see what I can be for you.
buzzrantrave: do you know Googly Minotaur?
SmarterChild: I can do many things. Type "home" to see a list of what I can do.

Let's get random!

buzzrantrave: Do you know how many people live in Finland?
SmarterChild: Movies playing at Regal Live Oak 18 in Live Oak, TX (78233) on Monday, July 2nd:
1 Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (PG-13): (11:30 AM), (12:05), (2:00), (2:35), (4:15), (4:45), 7:05, 7:35, 9:25, 9:55
2 Dr. Dolittle 2 (PG): (12:20 PM), (12:50), (2:30), (3:10), (4:40), (5:25), 7:05, 7:50, 9:15, 10:00
3 A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (PG-13): (12:00 PM), (12:30), (1:00), (3:30), (4:00), (4:30), 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 10:15, 10:45
4 Atlantis: The Lost Empire (PG): (11:40 AM), (12:35), (2:05), (3:05), (4:10), (5:35), 7:10, 8:05, 10:25
5 The Fast and the Furious (PG-13): (11:45 AM), (12:15), (2:15), (2:45), (4:50), (5:20), 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10:20

>>> Type "more" for the next set of results.
buzzrantrave: um, ok
SmarterChild: OK.

buzzrantrave: Where can I buy good bagels in New York, NY?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I have no listings for the movie Good Burger on Monday, July 2nd near New York, NY (10162).

>>> If you're having trouble with movies, type "movies help."
buzzrantrave: what's going on in russia?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I have no listings for the movie Good Burger on Monday, July 2nd near Russia, OH (45363).
buzzrantrave: Where is there a tower records in new york, ny?
SmarterChild: Which movie did you mean by New?

1 New Filmmakers Short Program
2 The Emperor's New Groove
3 New Gulliver
4 New York Ear and Eye Control (1964)

buzzrantrave: seen any good movies lately?
SmarterChild: Movies near Waynesboro, PA (17268) on Monday, July 2nd:

1 Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (PG-13)
2 Dr. Dolittle 2 (PG)
3 A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (PG-13)
4 Atlantis: The Lost Empire (PG)
5 The Fast and the Furious (PG-13)

>>> Type "more" for the next set of results.

buzzrantrave: why always with the movies?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I couldn't find any movies playing Monday, July 2nd in Why, AZ (85321).

buzzrantrave: have any plans for the weekend?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I didn't understand that. Try asking me a different way.

buzzrantrave: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
SmarterChild: I'm sorry?

buzzrantrave: who are you smarter than?
SmarterChild: I'm SmarterChild! I am a smart computer that delivers information, services and fun on demand right into your instant messenger window. I'm the new wave in online technology.
buzzrantrave: are you steve case's love child?
SmarterChild: I am lots of things to many different people. Type "home" to see what I can be for you.
buzzrantrave: are you that?
SmarterChild: I am lots of things to many different people. Type "home" to see what I can be for you.

Not only can the ActiveBuddies do things like looking up zipcodes, movie listings or act as a calculator, but at the very least, can provide a few minutes of entertainment (and an article) on a slow day at work.