Thoughts from the Elevator
Krikor Daglian
December 30, 2000
President-elect George Bush has is almost finished announcing his cabinet selections. The big news in my home state of New Jersey has been, of course, his appointment of Governor Christine Todd Whitman as EPA chief. I have the feeling that most NJ residents arent too disappointed to see her go. Despite being elected twice, Whitman is not necessarily a very popular figure in the state. In the op-ed pages of New Jerseys major newspapers, opinion was generally not in her favor, with some scintillatingly sarcastic (and fantastic) letters coming in regarding her "achievements" in NJ in the Bergen Record, and similarly unfavorable sentiments in the Star Ledger. Meanwhile, the rest of the country must find it amusing that the head of a state many perceive as the armpit of America will soon be in charge of the whole countrys environment. Let me say right now that New Jersey is in fact a beautiful state, and that its nickname, "the Garden State" , is well deserved. What is not deserved is giving Whitman any credit for the states beauty, as any good she might have done was offset by the harm. Preserving the states open space is great, but loosening the restrictions on polluting companies is not.
Had I gotten my act together and written this column a few days go, my prediction that Bush would fill out the rest of his appointments with conservatives wet dream candidates might have been more impressive. As it is, its been announced that missile shield supporter Donald Rumsfeld will be Defense Secretary, while welfare-roll cutting Tommy Thompson, Republican governor of Wisconsin, will be Health and Human Services Director, and Gale Norton, who has a history of not supporting federal efforts to protect wild areas, will be Secretary of the Interior. Clearly, Bushs plan was to announce the appointments that would get bipartisan support early (although Secretary of State is also the most important, and its proper that it was an early announcement), while the election aftermath was still strongly in peoples heads, anger the right wingers a bit, and then announce the appointments that would surely quiet their ire. No Democrats yet (but then, what Democrat would want to work under Bush anyway?)
These thoughts occurred to me as I rode up to my floor in the elevator. Analyzing politics is a useful way of stopping myself from thinking about the fact that the elevators in my building seem liable to break down any second, possibly falling numerous floors and compacting into bite-sized pieces at the bottom. Now, Im not a person who is afraid of elevators or anything, and its not that the elevators in my building seem that decrepit. I just get a bit worried when there are repair people working on at least one of the six elevators every day. The fact that the other day the doors began to open before the elevator had fully reached our floor wasnt too comforting either. And Im not the only one who seems a bit afraid, as a lot of fellow passengers seem to look around nervously when strange sounds begin emanating from the outside of the car as we move.
Truth be told, Im pretty confident that the elevators in the building are sound. In the end, its worth the risk to avoid having to climb 16 flights of stairs every day. And if the elevators began a free fall, it might not be too bad. At least it wouldnt stop on every floor on the way down at 5 pm, as it seems to do now, taking a century between floors as well. Yup, Id be ready if we suddenly started dropping rapidly around floor 15. Id pull the emergency brake around floor 5, and hopefully come to a nice stop right around level 1. And Im sure the malfunctioning doors would already be open for us to hastily climb out of.
Something Ill never be ready for are these super detailed and souped up Japanese cars that have been popping up over the last few years. On my walk to work this morning, I passed by a fine example of one of these "rice rockets" or "rice boy cars". These cars arent usually sports cars, but instead mid-sized or small Japanese sedans (Accords, Civics, Camrys) that were never envisioned to be very sporty. The one I passed by appeared to be a Nissan. With its tinted windows, chrome rims, large exhaust pipe, extra fog lights, and "Taking It to the Max!" written at the top of the windshield, its one of the better specimens Ive come across. If youre curious, the web page www.riceboypage.comgoes into more detail about these select vehicles, and the people who create them, as well as featuring pages and pages of examples.
Thats about it for The Buzz. Look for a new issue next week, around Wednesday, and have a good New Years!
